Manners Matter

I was enjoying my weekly read of the Sunday New York Times yesterday and a quote lept off the page for me: “I really dislike people Black-Berrying in front of me while we’re speaking; I can’t stand it.”  I couldn’t agree more with the speaker, and sadly I see the bad practice all the time.

The brief was about a new site, www.theetiquetteeffect.com, created by Anna Post, great-great-grand-daughter of Emily Post, and Hyatt Place Hotels.  The site is interesting, it ties directly to the hotel’s site and, while still new, will address how etiquette can give one an advantage in business.

While this blog is about great communications and not etiquette, it struck me that the two are inextricably linked.  Getting one’s message across through bullying only works for so long. And if your personal brand is one of rudeness, it won’t matter what your message is, people will tune out.

I won’t try to supercede the number of etiquette sites, columns and courses out there.  The term “etiquette” alone can turn some off -it sounds formal and rule-based.  With that, my quick thoughts on the good manners that any communicator should be using:

• Please and thank you rarely can be used too much, can be easily learned in a number of languages and should be employed regularly, especially when requesting help, advice or support.
• Think from an audience perspective how your message is about to come across.  Pause before hitting send on email (especially if written in haste or anger), and think about how the message will be received.
• Technology is a tool, which should be used appropriately. Cell phones have vibrate settings, there are times to turn off or put aside PDAs, and email is not always the best medium for a message.
• You are always “on,” every interaction, in social and business settings, is building your personal brand. And if some simple table manners, social ability and listening skills can add positively, why not employ them?

So readers, any great examples of good communications gone bad due to bad manners you’d like to share?